Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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