I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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