all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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