you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
