Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The uberlube is also flammable
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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