the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
