Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
