absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
