I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
