I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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