I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
