Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
