Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
