i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
