Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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