I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
