We're facebook friends in real life
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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