my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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