Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
