I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
