wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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