i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
