i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
