that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
