38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
