Where is the hickey?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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