dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
