Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
