I'm lost and stupid without you.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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