It's like God shit irony all over that family
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
