i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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