I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
