Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
All I want is dick and wine.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
