Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
