I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
