I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
