i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
