Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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