Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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