I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
