you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
