That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
