You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
