look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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