I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
