my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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