Don't make out with my wife yet
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i believe in u and ur pee
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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