Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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