singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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