Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
