Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
