I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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