There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
