Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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