they need to just BURY HIM!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Come share oat with me in your robe
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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