Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
