I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think my moral compass just broke
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