it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
