dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
be right there i have to get my cape
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
