handjob tips. give me some.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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