just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
