He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
