I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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