Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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