How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
